


Season 3 Episode 4

by Jusquaesitumtertio



Category: The Killing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 13:15:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21302681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jusquaesitumtertio/pseuds/Jusquaesitumtertio
Relationships: Stephen Holder/Sarah Linden
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Season 3 Episode 4

THE KILLING SEASON 3 EPISODE 4

This is an alternative take on the scene in Holder's apartment. What if it had been Caroline's phone that had rung? I’ve written two versions - one from Linden’s and one from Holder’s perspective. One of the things I loved most about the series was how Linden and Holder, but particularly Holder, stole glances when they knew the other wasn’t watching. In their most unguarded, honest moments (two that immediately come to mind are the car scene when they’re watching Pastor Mike and the scene when they’re eating Chinese at Linden’s house) they’re very careful about when they choose to make eye contact - each seems to know instinctively when the other is looking at them or has looked away. You can’t script something like that, it’s all about timing and instinct. As actors, Joel Kinnaman and Mireille Enos were completely in synch - it was almost as if they were telepathic. I wanted to use that in the story.

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Linden’s POV

"It's fine." Caroline sat down on the couch beside Holder. Sarah stared straight ahead and forked more food into her mouth, trying to plan her escape.  
A cellphone rang. Nobody moved.  
"Answer your phone baby."  
Caroline picked up her phone. “Caroline Swift.......OK. I'll be there in fifteen." She turned to Holder. "I’m duty ADA tonight. Emergency warrant application. Gotta go." She put her hand on his knee and kissed him lightly before grabbing her coat.  
She smiled at Sarah, "Nice to meet you.” "And you.” Sarah’s response was automatic and she wondered briefly whether she really meant it.

Sarah knew Holder well enough by now to sense when he was looking at her. She had taught herself that at certain times eye contact with Holder was dangerous.  
He was looking at her now.  
She kept her eyes on her plate.  
” I used to forget too," she said, "Valentine's day. Our anniversary. His birthday. I even forgot Jack’s birthday once.” She closed her eyes and remembered that day. When Reggie had brought Jack to the hospital. She had had no idea why they had come...  
"Yeah.... well telling me I’m turning into you ain’t that big of a comfort Linden.”  
She half-smiled and sensed it was safe to look at him. When she raised her head and turned towards him he was staring down at his hands, interlocking his fingers.  
"So why are you here?"  
"I told you. I missed the ferry."  
Holder looked up. "You mean the ferry that's leaving for Vashon...." - he glanced at the clock on the wall - "....right about now?”  
Shit.   
"So why are you here Linden.....for real?"  
For a moment she thought about telling him about Jimmy, about seeing him with his family and about how much she still missed Jack.   
No, she couldn’t, not even him.  
She stared at the floor. If he saw her eyes he would know she was lying again. He always knew, even if he didn’t always know why.  
“Thought tofu and lentils were worth a shot after all.” She dared him to ask a third time.

The silence was long enough that she thought she'd gotten away with it. 

She put her plate down on the table. “I’d better be....”  
"Do you really think he's good for you?” Holder cut in. Oh God. How long had he known? His voice was quiet. "That he’s gonna be better for you than....."  
" .... me?" Sarah heard the word in her head and the shock hit her like a punch in the stomach.  
Her eyes flew up to his without thinking and this time she had misjudged it. It wasn't safe and his gaze held hers without blinking.  
" ..... Sonoma or Mr. Boatman Cody?” he finished.  
She felt as if he was staring into her soul. Just like in the diner the day Jack went missing. And just like that day, she bolted. "I need to use the bathroom."

She splashed cold water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror. She was shaking. She'd convinced herself the reason she'd come here was because she wanted company from the one person who wouldn't judge her, the one person she didn’t have to pretend with. But she knew now, with an awful, sudden certainty, that wasn't the reason at all. The real reason was the answer to the question he’d started and she’d finished in her head. Did he know? She didn't think so and he musn't know. Not ever. She broke things. 

She heard a phone ringing in the living room. Sarah steadied herself and went back down the hallway. Holder had his cellphone and his jacket in his hand.  
"It’s Bullet. She’s got something.”

Holder’s POV

“It’s fine.” Caroline sat down beside him on the couch. Linden was staring ahead and forking more food into her mouth. She looked like she wanted desperately to be somewhere else. He knew he’d screwed up but he actually didn’t feel that guilty. Was remembering this sort of shit really going to be that important in their relationship? By the look on Linden’s face when the cupcake had arrived she’d had no clue either, but then she had no reason to remember.  
Caroline’s cellphone rang. Nobody moved.  
“Answer your phone baby.”  
Caroline picked up her phone. “Caroline Swift.......OK. I’ll be there in fifteen.” She turned to him. “I’m duty ADA tonight. Emergency warrant application. Gotta go.” She put her hand on his knee and kissed him lightly before grabbing her coat.  
She smiled at Linden. “Nice to meet you.” “And you.” Holder didn’t think she sounded too sure.

He looked at Linden but her eyes were fixed on her plate and she was unreadable.  
“I used to forget too,” she said, “Valentine’s Day. Our anniversary. His birthday. I even forgot Jack’s birthday once.” He saw her eyes close and he guessed when that had been.  
“Yeah....well telling me I‘m turning into you ain’t that big of a comfort Linden.” He was only half-joking.  
She half-smiled and he sensed she was about to look up. He quickly stared down at his hands, interlocking his fingers.  
Still looking down he asked her the question he’d wanted to ask since she’d arrived.  
“So why are you here?”  
“I told you. I missed the ferry.”  
This time he didn’t need to see her eyes to know she was lying. Holder looked up. “You mean the ferry that’s leaving for Vashon...” - he glanced at the clock on the wall - “....right about now?”   
Got her.   
When he looked back at her she was staring at the floor. He tried again.  
“So why are you here Linden....for real?”   
Part of him was genuinely curious as to why she was lying. But a bigger part of him really needed her to give him a straight answer.   
There was a pause and for a moment he almost believed she was going to do just that.  
She didn’t look up. ”Thought tofu and lentils were worth a shot after all.”  
OK. He should have known better. He wasn’t going to ask a third time. 

But as they sat in uneasy silence he realised he knew the answer. She was here because was running again. He’d asked the wrong question. The real question was who she was running from. Holder was pretty sure he knew the answer to that one too.  
Linden put her plate down on the table. “I’d better be....”  
He cut in, speaking quietly but looking straight at her, “Do you really think he’s good for you? That he’s gonna be better for you than ....”. She looked up at him suddenly and he saw shock in her eyes. “....Sonoma or Mr. Boatman Cody?” he finished. He knew he’d guessed right but her reaction made him think she had expected him to ask something different. He continued to hold her gaze without blinking.  
“I need to use the bathroom.” She bolted for the hallway. He smiled to himself. The last time she’d used that escape line was in the diner the day Jack went missing. So it was Skinner. Another shitty choice in a long line of shitty choices - deadbeat husband, Tom Waits wannabe, shrink, toyboy and now the married man who also just happened to be her boss. But why did it matter to him? And what had she thought he was going to ask? He couldn’t work out the answer to the second question, but an uncomfortable answer to the first was beginning to form in his head when his cellphone rang.

Holder picked up his jacket and met her in the hallway. She looked at him questioningly.  
“It’s Bullet. She’s got something.”


End file.
